And It's over

Well, I seem to have survived my first semester at college. All limbs are still intact and my spleen didn't erupt, so I guess that's a good sign. Today was my last final and it wasn't that bad actually! Which was nice. And now I play the waiting game to go home and hold my Wonder-bread close to me (and make Christmas cookies cause his Mom really wants US to make them for her... not just Wonder-bread, but for some reason I have to be there too) (... His Mom scares me... Actually his entire family does, THEIR SO QUIET!! which is legitly the complete opposite of my family) I leave tomorrow at noon. which is NOT SOON ENOUGH!! lol oh well, I'll survive. Oh fun story!! So last night instead of studying Alex, ALL the Roberts guys (including fun hating Ryan and Indian kid Atule) and I, went and played in the snow! It was fun, but I've got a nasty cold so I wasn't in the best of moods. (Idk what it is about this place but it makes my stomach hurt and it gave me a wicked cold recently) (I'm allergic to it I've decided) But any who, since we lacked real sleds we went sledding on HIGH TECH AMAZINGLY AWESOME CARD BOARD BOXES!! (That a campus security guard told us where to find them XD he was the coolest security guard I've ever met) It was pretty fun cause one of the boxes you could fit 6 people on. they didn't go as far as real sleds would have but it was still fun. Than I came back here and tried to study. Then I slept.
So over break I really really have to buy another camera, and the same one I had is on sale at Target for 100 bucks. I seem to have like the worst luck with cameras ever. One) don't leave them places they might walk off two) don't put them in guys pockets. Third times a charm right X[ grrrr... Okay... it's nap time, before I go galavanting around town with some friends from choir. PEACE OUT PEOPLE!
ps the stupid guy with the vacume is back... So annoying.

Crazy Nap Dreams

First before I forget all of this I just woke up from a nap where I had the WEIRDEST DREAM EVER. It started off with my Mom and Grandma Peake coming to visit me... during dead week, and They were being SUPER FRICKEN LOUD. So i was trying to shut them up and at one point im pretty sure I smacked Mom upside the head. Then besides my normal sisters the for some reason had like 5 billion other little kids.... okay so it was more like 10 extra little kids, and they were running all over and were being super fricken loud, So i was freaking out, then they all got into the den and turned on the tv super fricken loud. And I ran in there and yelled at them that it was dead week and girls had huge important tests starting monday and they were all like. Oh... and I herded them all back to my room where my Grandmother was throwing a huge duffel bag in my room and my first though in the dream was "Fuck no are they staying here." And then (For some reason Lenstra and I went to the same school) and he walked by with laundry or something (He was talking to someone down the hall, I don't remember who they were though. I knew them though) So i was like "Hey guys was that lenstra?? I havnt seen him in forever!" They were all like "Yeah" Then for some reason I ran after him whisper shouting his name (Cause I was still super afriad of being loud and that Amy was going to write me up), there were a ton of people in the way, then he turned around and I like jumped at him to hug him, but then he like ballet lifted me above his head and carried me down the hall. And if that's not strange, he had either died his hair blond or shaved it all off (or some weird combination of both) but he still had a normal Lenstra hair goatee. ... ... ... and then I woke up. HOW WEIRD IS THAT XD hahaha Oh man... That was a weird dream.
In other news, I was taking a nap to make up for the fact I got up at 5:20 so I could be at work at 6. It wasn't pretty. Then I went to class right after I got off... so when I got done I took a nap, and just woke up now! lol *sigh* I have a lot of crap to do. Ugh... Kay that's all I got for now. OH WAIT NO IT'S NOT!! Okay so our normal custodian went back home for christmas (I think she's from China... I'm not sure but she doenst speak english well) any ways she's super nice and every body loves her. but now she's gone till January and we have this major creepy GUY cleaning our bathroom. He vacumes everyday which is just loud and annoying. And he's just.... creepy. But today before I went to sleep for nap time I went into the den to see if there were any snacks left form study break lastnight. And as I walked into the dark room and my eyes started adjusting I saw him sitting there. He was sitting in our den with all of the lights off. It was the creepiest moment of my life. He looked at me and kinda barked "Hey" (Like a greeting hey not like a 'hey' why are you on my property 'hey') I didn't say anything, I just turned and walked out and back to my room. I probably made a weird face because you can read my emotions or anything Im thinking across my face like a 2nd grade level picture book. Oh well... He is such a creeper. SUCH A CREEPER WTH. why would you sit in a den with the lights off. .__.
Kay now that's all I've got:) I should get some stuff done. PEACE OUT HOMMIES!!!

--Count down-- 8 1/2 days till I get to go home.

flurries

Small white spot,
Suspended in perfect balance,
It's cold out.
The wind whips up,
Leaves scatter in circular movements,
more white dots spin around,
up down this way that way,
all in perfectly conformed chaos.
They never seem to touch the ground.
One big ballet dance through the people.
But more white spots are catching in the grass,
along the sidewalk,
in the cracks, on the hustling black coats.
Suddenly November is gone, stolen,
by small white dots suspended in perfect balance.

~ Yeah It's wicked cold here, I am skipping glass this morning cause I have a head ache, the semesters almost done, I have to work tonight, and I just ate a scone. It was "snowing" yesterday, not much just a few flurries. But man was it cold and windy. It was some how really peaceful though. Idk. Snow is, in my oppinion, one of the calmest things in the world. I'm okay with it snowing now. However that will probably change about the end of January when I get sick of being cold 24-7 and it starts getting slushy and gray and nasty outside. But in the mean time it's officially december, which means it's officially Advent, which means I am going to miss home even more because Advent season is one of the best times of the year. I guess I'll catch the last week of Advent back home. Whoo... and that's about all I've got for today.

Pandora, my sweet lullaby

Well, I was cleaning and watching the travel channel. Then my roomie brought all of her friends back to our room, they changed the tv channel, and I don't like cleaning with other ppl here so I had to pause and take a breather. Annnnd so I'm listening to Pandora. Who ever invented that site was a freaking genius. Like seriously!! Lol best site ever. I did get some stuff done today. ANNND my aunt facebooked me telling me she got me a laptop case from Buit they have the cutest electronic cases EVER! lol I'm pretty excited :D On one hand this is the Aunt that is very critical of my mom and there are days that I just wish she would get off my Mom's back, but She also sends us wicked cool stuff. Half my clothes are hand me downs from her. Lol. Sigh... I am cool calm and collected. And exhausted. Last night we didn't get back till about 1 am. So I'm super tired but Thats okay because it was totally worth it. Though I have to say... It was really weird seeing Evan outside of the Dbq friend group... It was... strange. I didn't know his friends and I just found it kinda awkward to come in and be like "hey I'm Katie..." I guess I'm just not used to change at all, and apparently I don't cope well with it. lol I think It'll be fine over break cause I mean we'll be with our amazing dbq friends (I agree with Jessica's post on needing to get away from ISU people and spend some quality time with dbq people) One thing that really kinda bugged me.... He didn't laugh like he usually does. I know that sounds like a stupid thing but I didn't hear the EVAN laugh, the laugh that comes out when Jessica says something hilarious or I do something stupid like fall over or almost choke on something. (I shall never live that one down) It scared me. I felt like I was loosing him. I haven't felt that in the last month though! It's like I was fine this entire month and then I actually got there and saw him and hung out with his new friends and I felt out of place... I've NEVER had that before!! Evan and I are best friends!! We have been for 4 years! We did everything together!! And it seemed like everything was the same when we talked over the internet of on the phone. But in person... I... I'm not even sure how to explain it, but it scares me. I know I'm just ranting and that most of this doesn't make any sense at all. It would kill me if I lost him though. Sigh... okay that felt good to say. On the way home last night I didn't talk at all, which is weird cause when I get tired I talk non-stop. And my friend Alex who drove was trying to get me to tell him what was wrong. I couldn't just say, "Well Alex you wanna know what?? You guys do not even compare to my friends back home and I feel lonely and afraid." That's not usually something good to say to some one you met 4 months ago. But I'm going to go eat some fruit snacks and cuddle up in my bed and listen to more music for an hour till I have to go to Bio. After that I might text David (the one with luscious hair XD) and see what those guys are doing for supper. Or I still have a packet of Ramen here... Maybe I'll just eat that. Mmmm that actually sounds really good. Or I'll walk to the c-store and get some foods. College is a lot of change that I was not prepared for. Just gotta keep my chin up and keep on swimmin' other wise I might drown, cause the deep end is way over my head. §

Dear World....

That's not a legit title just so you all know. I'm sitting in Am In studies waiting for it to start. Literally I've got 50 mins left. Listening to Kanon Wakeshima. I love the cello parts in her songs. Which makes me miss playing cello. So I know I should like choir. I mean I really love to sing and stuff but I hate the atmosphere of it all. (My professor just told me that he was going for caffeine.... I need caffeine.)Any ways, I just really dislike the attitude and mindset of most of the girls. Some of them (I know I shouldn't clump them all together so I wont) But there is this one girl who just gets on my nerves ALL THE TIME. Grrrrrrrrrrr... She says some of the dumbest things. not that she's dumb she's actually quite intelligent school wise. But her perspective of the world is skewed. Or... gah nm I just sound like I'm complaining. New topic.
Winter Guard was amazing last night! I actually understood the routine and it was very fulfilling. :D And I have my first major bruise!! And my arms are dead and my back is so sore to the touch and I'm pretty sure I'd pass out if someone hugged me. BUUUT all this hurt means I'm finally getting around to getting back into shape!!! which is super exciting. Lol I sound like a masochistic freak. teehee. I'm not. I just love spinning flag and being in shape.
In yet more news, started my job on Sunday, It's yet to be determined if this job will be worth my time. It kinda seems like it's going to be stressful and that I wont get many hours. But you know what as long as I get paid at least some monies I'll deal. This weeks is so exciting too, Cause tonight is bible study, Tuesday is open mike night for Tyler (I really hope my group gets done with this presentation in time for me to watch him) Wednesday I get to go to Iowa City to see Evan (you can not possibly know how excited I am to see him again) Thursday is.... crap... there is something going on Thursday, I forgot what it is though. Friday I get done with classes at noon and my Mom is coming to pick me up!!!! the only catch is that I promised her that I'd drive the 3 hours home so she didn't have to drive for 6 hours in one day:D Super excited beyond belief! I miss my family a lot. And Hans promised me she would save me a piece of blueberry pie. Yum. Okay Well I've still got 30 mins... but I feel as though this random entry has gone on long enough. Peace out readers. Aka My liddle sister. and those other two ;) Can't wait to see you guys next week either!!!!

6th month anniversary

So today is mine and Evan's 6th month anniversary. Which is exciting. It makes me happy that we've been together for this long. :) And no, the long distance thing isn't easy, and yes, I am mjldly pissed that he couldn't come up this weekend to celebrate because of his volunteer thing, but you know what? I'll get over it. I still love the kid so it'll all work out. In other news Jesyka and Megan are coming up today!!! I am so excited!! I havn't seen them since our dinner party. The only thing is my hair is not being nice to me today. It's kinda really super lame. Lol my bangs are like freakin' out. hahah oh well. I'll deal. Hmmmm what else. Not much else. I'm just trying to waste time till they get here. Always the best. 10 days till I get to go to IC for a couple hours!! Get to see Evan, I won't be there for very long but hey I'll take what ever I can get at this point!! Hrmmm. Oh! HvZ update! I'm def a Zombie :( but I am now on the look out for the anti virus. OH and crazy coincedence! My "friend" (I use this term loosly) At Truman is playing HvZ as well!! I thought that was hilarious. He's still a human. I kinda hope he last's till a human when we go back for Thanksgiving break. I'll tag him XD hahah Jkjk. I'll probably have starved by thanksgiving. Though if I get turned back I'm def going to try my hardest to win and stay human. Lol College is actually turning out to be fun guys. Okay I'm off to do my make up and try to tame my hair. Peace out humans!!

Animorphs

So when I was..... younger... I actually have no idea when our obsession started, elementary some time. But we used to read Animorphs. It's this syfi little kids book series, it's got 56 books total. (Fyi they go down hill from like 30 on). Well I got bored today, well bored and I was really pissed off, and the result was I started wondering what the tv show was like. Cause there was a 90's tv show that was made out of the books. So that's what Im doing right now. It's pretty bomb. I always wanted to be an Animorph. Oh and I totally had a crush on Tobias, the hawk kid. lol Oh and Ax was fricken hilarious when he was in human form and eating skittles. XD Man... I wish I had been born in the 70's. Teen in the 80's and twenty in the 90's or born in the 80's so I could actually remember the 90's. Lol
In other news, I am going to go on an adventure to find the sheaman catering room in the Sheamen building to drop off my Pay roll stuff. Ugh... I figure to stay in college i have to make over 300 dollers a month. ALl of which goes to my parents. @__@ College is so expensive.
IN YET OTHER NEWS!!! Winter Guard "try outs" are Sunday or next thursday. I AM SO EXCITED!! I miss spinning a lot and I can't wait to spin again!!
Other then that, I'm in a pouty mood cause I miss my beau. :( Oh well what else is new. Okay off to find Sheamen Catering! Peace out homies.

One of the boys???

Wait.... is this possible?! Has my dream really come true?!! Have I actually been accepted as...... ONE OF THE BOYS?!??!?!?!??!!!

Soooo, This story starts when my roomie decided to start hanging out with Jred. Jred is an idiot idiot face with no real good intentions besides being all drunk and gross and shit. And well my Roomie (now to be know as Roomie) Has started hanging out with him every friggen day. Which leaves me an awkward third wheel or just awkward in general cause i have NO intention on going to these parties and just stand along the wall, GAAH. What I'm trying to say is that I hung out with ROomie all the time. But now I don't want to cause one) I don't deal well with guys that are like that, and Two) I DISLIKE JRED VERY MUCH. and all of his cocky manly annoyingly drunk disgusting chovist male friends. >:[ Yeah that's right my thoughts on my roomie just went through the floor. I thought she had morals.... Welllll lets see she took the walk of shame at 8 yesterday morning... Obviously idk what she was doing, and i have no proof besides I walked with her to a kegger (thinking I might just chill and dance or something and see what a kegger was like) then I left with in 5 mins of arriving cause it was effing scary as shit. any ways moral of story I didn't see Roomie till 8 the next AM. What evs What evs. Now back to actual story.

While I was sulking about having to be the awkward 3rd wheel or the weird girl who doesnt like guys or the... oh never mind. whilst i was feeling sorry for myself my guy friends (that i met through the first week of orientation stuff) Started hanging out with me and texting me. which led to us Hanging out litterally ALL weekend. Okay let me modify there are actually two girls in our group. So me and Courtny. But Courtny doesnt really count Cause she's dating Jeramiah. So friday night we hung out... Did some crazy things like walk all over campus, watched all the Frats do their little stage things in front of their buildings. We ate dinner together. Saturday we hung out like all day. I played soccer with them in the AM. (and managed to get tagged, yeah im no longer human folks. BUt it's okay cause most of the guys are zombies too. Cept lance... but were watching him patiently) Yeah, then we watched a bunch of movies.

But what's cool is that, they are so like me!! They are all into gaming and we had this crazy game discussion yesterday. and we discussed movies, me and David got into a heated debate about Star Wars (I don't have a problem with the "new" movies. He about killed me right then and there when i said that, he's an adimate hater of movies 1,2&3 but loves the old ones) And then we were talking about how there wern't any girls playing the HvZ game, this is how it went down.
David: Yeah like half our dorm is playing.
Me: Yeah I'm the only one playing on my floor, or in my dorm for that matter.
Tyler: Well that's cause youre in an all girls dorm. Girls don't play games like this, unless they have guy friends that tell them about it.
Me: HEY! Then what Am I!? Cause Im pretty sure I found out/decided to play with out any GUY telling me too.
David: Well that's cause your'e cool.
Me: Oh I see so I'm one of those cool girls that's what youre saying XD *insert laugh*

X] Oh yea.... That's right I'm one of those cool girls that can be one of the guys. YOu have noooo idea how happy that makes me. Oh and best part. Were all going to see Bo Burnam tomorrow night. It's going to rock!! I am so excited!!
Oh and today in between church i played Devil May Cry 4.... besides my computer Effing up the download so the guy runs super super super slow... stupid glitch... It's one of the best games iiiiin theeee world.... Good weekend. Whooo. Okay well That was a book. and now Im going to bed.

GAH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!! my true tom boy nature has been set free. Sorry if that was the most random thing EVER. but Hey. Life is good. And it's nice to be a nerd again and fit in.
Peace out fellow Zombies.

HvZ

Google HvZ, what do you get?? A whole bunch of universities across the world playing what is basically a game of tag. And Yes folks... It is happening right here in river city. Just kidding, actually it's happening in Ames, Zombie invasion ISU style. Technically the game started an hour ago. I've yet to see any Zombies or be chased or... well even wear my red arm band outside. Rules of the game? Red bandanna = human, green= infected flesh eater. Zombies try to tag humans to turn them into zombies, humans can fight zombies with socks. If a Zombie gets hit with a sock it has to freeze for 10 seconds. Yeah it's pretty much my dream come true. I just wish I was part of a Zomie killing team or some team or soemthing. cause it's really boring right now cause well.... I'm not doing anything. Besides wearing a red bandanna on my arm and I have socks in my coat pocket. Though in an hour I have to make my way across campus to the MU to drop of my pay roll info and then go to AM IN studies. Lol maybe I just wont wear my red on the outside of my coat XD that is totally cheating. buuuut I don't really wanna play in the middle of the day. >.< depends on how many red wearers i see floating around. XD Damn i wish i still had my camera so I could take pictures of this!!!! SO BA!!!! Hahah I hope by the time I go out there are more ppl playing. Okay well... This has rambled long enough. Wish me luck outside world. And pray that the virus doesn't spread to your city...

There are days.

(http://storms-shadow.deviantart.com/) i did some of my own editing:D but i stole that persons pic... >.<>The last two days were.... not so good. Yesterday was our dorms Sadie Hawkins dance. I took my friend Alex. (We actually got the kid to dance by the end of the night it was great!!! lol he's a very entertaining dancer) But any who, I didn't have Evan, which killed me on the inside a little bit. And my Roomie and my other friend that I went with had like hard core dates (Kate had her bf there for the weekend, and Roomie had a date) It was really weird cause Roomie just broke up with a long term boy friend of hers and she's been all over like every guy I've seen her with. Like at the dance she was ALL UP in this kids business (and vice versa) Then she left with him, she told me it was to watch a movie... But I am pretty sure she took him up on an offer to go to a kegger. Now don't get me wrong I am not judging! Cause I did the exact same thing when my boy friend of 2 1/2 years dumped me. (Okay i didnt go to keggers, But i havnt exactly been single for more then 4 months since then; I just date all of my friends who are guys) I lost my train of thought..... Oh the dance. It sucked. I mean I love dancing, but I always end up looking like I'm trying to hard to look all sexy. IDK maybe that's just me..... Gah that train of thought just went crashing off the tracks.

NEW TRAIN; I did jack shit all day. Till 4 pm I hadn't left my dorm, save for brushing my teeth showering, peeing and washing a spoon. I am so friggen lame! (Roomie is off in some city somewhere with yet another guy that has fallin' head over heels for her since she is now single) .... That was mean..... I didnt mean it be be mean, just that I miss Evan and truth be told I am wicked jealous that she has so much fun. I mean, I guess I don't mind college so much. But at the same time I wish I had more friends and like could go out and do stuff... I am so pathetic! LOL here it is Saturday Night, and I am blogging instead of going to a party or watching a movie with friends, or doing anything.... I'm BLOGGING. Writing to the interwebs my inner most thoughts and idiot mind vomit. While trying to have a conversation with my boyfriend, whom I love very much but it's like milking a cat to get him to talk to me lately! And I know it's cause he's stressed about school. I get that! But I am so lonely here! I hear the party girls across the hall from us getting ready to go out, all of their boys are being loud and obnoxious (probably already drunk) and here I am in my dorm room with my computer. I hate this! At least at home I had my horses or the woods to go stomp through if i needed alone time. Here i have a stuffy room that smells like popcorn and a lame ass freshman's imagination.

w..o..w. That was a lot of rant. I wish I could have taken those guys up on going to a dance party with them, but then Evan texted me and I couldn't ditch Evan again (I kinda did but not really last night). Yup folks that's muh life. right thur. My biggest wish right now is that I could just curl up into a ball and sleep till monday, I hate weekends. And I totally would but I have to go to church, and I have a concert tomorrow. I don't want to sing, my voice sucks and I don't like concerts. I think after all of these years, just like running, my voice will get worse and worse as the years go on. Oh and the night mares came back two weeks ago. sigh.

Happy.... I am Happy.

If only on the outside, the only side that counts.

If only for the one's I love, to hide my selfish self.

If only just to fool my brain, I'll one day be complete.

I'm happy now, as ever will, I always, always be. §

Sitting here

Sitting here, with the window open, feeling the wind, seeing the sun, smelling the Autumn air. All alone, in that place that helps me concentrate, that smells like dust and old things, that has an out of tune piano and book shelves with old books no one reads. The molding and the base boards are scratched and aged from being in a college dorm common room, the door has numbers painted on it designating the room and floor, the out of place industrial sprinklers are the newest addition besides the last coat of white paint to hide the stains and the stories. The light is off, the window is open, the shade is drawn, it's warm, comfortable, my place in a strange and foreign world. The only other noise besides the jolly people outside, is the clicking of my fingers on a black and dusty laptop.

So I am sitting in my dorms little common study area. It's totally the coolest place ever. I love this dorm, def going to stay here for a couple years if not more. It's really old and cool. It's not that big of a room but it's got some wicked comfy couches and some nice tables, and a piano that is my new best friend. And no body ever comes here!! Which is such a nice change from the crazy liberary or the other common room which always has people in it (granted the other one is bigger and the piano is actually a grand piano) I was noticing I needed a different place to study because my room was like way way to distracting and I just couldn't focus. SOO. I came here, and at first I just played the piano here, though the piano is super duper loud so I'm pretty sure the neighboring rooms got sick of hearing my choir music and the first two lines of Mill's "The Music Box Dancer". Oh well. And guess what it's so peacefull here! Like, I'm pretty sure I could just stay here forever and ever in this moment and just take in the slight chilly breeze wafting in through the window on my left and the lovely music provided by Pandora radio (favorite find EVER if you don't know about it... def look that up cause it's a life saver). Yup that's what I am up to today, besides like hard core studying (i took a break from reading about Gracile australopiths and robust australopiths to write this. But I should probably get back to that and then I have to go eat lunch by my self (also suprisingly relaxing) and then I have to go talk to the History Ed Advisor to see if I can get into the Hist Ed program so I can be a Middle school history teacher. I like the middle school curiculum much better then the specialized Goverment and us history classes of highschool, so I'd rather stay at the Middle School level. Yup. §

Coming home party = epic win

So this weekend I got to go home, thanks to the kind souls of my roomie and my friend Jesyka, it was the best weekend ever. First off I went to the my highschools homecoming game. I think we won... Idk I didn't stay for the end because we went to "B-dubs" aka Buffalo Wild Wings. That was okay. Got to hang with my best friend and her little sister and her best friend, and all of their dates... My beau being still out of town at a Carrie Underwood concert. Minus the awkwardness it was a blast. Then Saturday we had a crazy formal dinner at my house. (where the picture above was taken) it. was. awesome.

First me and my beau cooked brownies (yum) then we made Chicken Mozzarella, also yum. I have to say that I love cooking with Evan more then anything else, I'm not sure why, just something about cooking makes me happy. The dinner was so perfect. everything tasted really good and every one seemed to be having a blast. Then we walked through the woods in the dark, that was really fun. Very relaxing and really pretty. We tried to tell spooky stories but none of them were really that scary. Lol they were all hilarious though. Then we watched How to Train your Dragon. Best movie ever! Well maybe not best but it was right up there with Up :D Best night ever.

There was one thing I didn't like about this weekend, how short it was. I only go to see Evan on Saturday. But its 4 weeks and 4 days till I go back home for Thanks Giving break. Yes I am already counting down the days >.<

So this is friggen redic. It's now the 3 time i've had to re type parts of this or add more or like wonder why half of it is being deleted... Like i had a friggen whole next paragraph wondering why there was an Indian Shooting a star on the tootsie roll pop wrappers and wondering what that image was for because i know it's special in some way, or atleast that's what my grandparents told me. but noooooooooooooooooooo this stupid thing wont let me post that apperently! WTH!! It was very indepth and a wonderful analysis.... and then when i hit save it said Html error. WTH i didnt even add any Html stuff of my own so it should have just been text.... ugh what ever. Here's the brief version. I eat a banana tootsie roll pop, it tasted weird, i now have a cool yellow wrapper to show for it and that wrapper has the Indian and hte star on it. End of story. it was much better the first time i had to type it. Blogger you are acting super lame today. /end rant

Life

So... college is really difficult right now, not the classes, but the deciding what I'm going to be doing in four years when i graduate. I never thought i wanted to get married, I was so anti marriage and kids it was scary, I wanted to be an Anthropologist just so I could travel the world and never settle down. I wanted to be high profile, an outspoken and vibrant academic who studies people but doesn't get close to people. I was on the line between man-hater and lesbian. Not saying I didn't date. But I didn't date to find a soul mate, it was more or less 'cause that's just what you did when a guy liked you and he asked you out. Granted I did actually like the guys I've dated in the past, don't get me wrong. All of you who know me and know the people (or for some odd chance I have dated you in the past) don't get me wrong, it's just i wasn't dating for the long term or thinking of the future, as most high schoolers do. But something changed this past semester. All I can think about is settling down, starting a family of my own. Sure I still love my Anthro classes, I've finally started to enjoy school because I am studying something that I love! But... Being an anthropologist doesn't allow for settling down and reproducing. So I've started thinking about switching my major too one that is more conducive to a family. History Education X| not sure i know what I'm getting myself into but I love history... and I'd be double majoring in History ed and Anthro. Ugh that's my rant... and I know I'm to young to get married, I'd have to wait 4 years till I graduated... Life would be so easy if i could just know what is going to happen in the next 4-5 years. And the worst part is, I really, really don't want my boyfriend reading this because the last thing i want to do is scare him off!! lol Good thing only my little sister reads this thing XD hahah Cause I can wait four years, hands down I can do that. But... idk.... i lost my train of rant cause criminal minds is very very distracting. GAH ANGST! Wish I was older or not so in love. Lol it sounds so dumb when i say it like that XD But for the past week that's pretty much all i've been thinking about. Besides mid terms. YUCK MIDTERMS!! Okay Im done ranting. I just had to get that out of my system before I burstXD hahah Sigh. I miss my boyfriend.

Those days...

So you're walking to dinner, It's chilly, your arms are crossed. Some girls are infront of you, their skinny and showing it off. There's a group of loud abnoxious guys walking the opposite way, they look at the skinny girls and yell "Hey what time tonight" The girls give the look like 'I've never seen you in my life, get away you disgusting frack.' Girls keep walking, Guys laugh and keep walking. I'm just walking, group of guys walks past me.... one guy looks my way, I don't return the pleasure. "Ewww" Guys laugh, they point, they think they are so funny. I keep walking. First spit now this, I've decided not to walk that way to the dinning center any longer.

Mmm so since Roomie is gone, It's Yoga night:) Oh an much Criminal Minds:) lol Whoooo!!!!

Sighing in the key of Eb

So... First off i have to state that you know that nervous feeling you get in the pit of your stomach?? Like when youre talking to a boy you like, or your about to dive off the high dive, or your about to step out in front of a moving train. Yeah that feeling, in the pit of your stomach... That feeling wont go away!! It's so weird. I was minorly nervous to go volunteer at CPC club today cause it was my first time working with the people and the kids, So I had a healthy dose of nerves, because it's always hard to jump in and help out with events through church when ever one there has known everyone else for their entire lives. I'm a new person, and new people can sometimes not be accepted as readily. but i was working with the k-1st graders. They were all to young to know not to accept new folk so it was great:) But the nerves feeling in my stomach has yet to leave me. I don't think I'm having a panic attack though it's possible. I hope it doesnt turn into a panic attach cause those are not fun... Sigh

So I'm going to the gym later cause I need to start to fight the freshman 15!! Lol also to get in shape so I can do some major hiking this summer or even this winter, winter break I kinda want to go snow shoeing and def do a lot of Cross country skiing, but that requires me to be in good shape. So I worked out last night and I'm going to go again in an hour.

Mmm today was another really good Fall day. lots of leaves and lot's of beauty:) Whoo... okay I'm off to finish some Anthro homework!

October

It's October! I love October, it's something about the smell, something about the way people start bundling up, something about small children in big puffy coats with red cheeks and noses. And Apples! Mmm sweet apples.

Today is Friday the frist of October. It's an awesome day. I want to go back outside with my camera and take pictures upon pictures. But I'm going to wait till my littlest sister gets here tomorrow evening to do that. Today however the only thing's i accomplished were going to class and doodling. lol my notes are turning into one picture after another. Mostly different facial expression's I've been working on. Some day I'm going to put together a crazy sketch dump... that will be epic. Today i was drawing a very sad girl on my American Indian studies notes... I sit in the front row and I'm more of a listener then a watcher so I just absentmindedly doodle while I listen to these crazy sad stories. She's pretty cool if i must say so myself XD hahah though the professor kept giving me these looks like WTH... do you not pay attention ever??

In other news; got a text from a friend today saying something about getting out of the hospital. That was a shocker. I was like what the heck dude!? He hasn't had a good week... Like seriously; getting in multiple car accidents and such. Jeeze. He's a strange bird. Though he is crazy in love with Jesus... lol his words about all of the craziness were like "Well now we know the devil is really trying to get rid of me. I must be doing something right" or something like that. i was like.... okay that would not be my first thoughts if i got in two accidents, one of them the car was totaled, then ended up needing surgery for an infected hand.... lol well there you go then. Maybe that's why God doesn't send me crazy trials like that, cause i'd just cave and blame it all on myself, think i was getting punished for something. Hahah. ANY WHO. Man.

ITS FRIDAY!! hahah That's super duper exciting cause it means skype date with Evan!!!! IMB SO FREAKING EXCITED!!! hahaha Whoo lots of excitment. and lots of drawing. and lots of october!!! GOOD DAY!!!! Hmm forgot to e-mail my pastor back. I should do that O.o

Oh man one more story: So there's this really attractive kid in my AM IN studies class. (one must know that the whole class is like hick town usa except like me and this other kid... weird) anywho this kid is a Star Trek fan, and his parents are hard core trekies and all that, so i wanna get to know him! (The fact that he is attractive has nothing to do with it, i'm already taken dont get any ideas) ANY WAYS HE WALKED PAST ME AND HE SMELLED GOOD. well walked past is kinda... not right. It's more like..... i almost turned around and did a face plant into his chest.... lol akward! but he smelled really good. why is it that guys body spray always smells so good!? Haha I think for christmas ima get Evan some XD hahah just kidding. But seriously, I was always under the impression that women were supposed to wear the purfume and like be all smelly good, but I've since come to the conclusion that Guys smell way better then Girls! cause they don't wear enough to be like HOLLY SMELL. but like it's suttle and..... O.o yum.... yeah that made no sense. Moral of story? I like the smell of guys body spray. ;D

§

Reminiscent

It's really beautiful here today, it makes me ache inside. Makes me miss someone. Makes me miss my family. Makes me miss being a kid. I know that's all sentimental poppy-cock but it's true. I was walking to class (and then right back from said class cause it happened to be cancelled) and the wind was blowing and the leaves were falling on my face and the sun was streaming down on my person.

---The sun may fade and the flowers wilt,

the leaves may turn; soar off their stilt,

the cold winds come and snow may fall.

But even then, I love it all. ---

Makes me miss the orchard, the fond memories of picking apples till your hands were numb from the cold wet dew. Then coming back to sort them all in the giant sorter machine. Then after you can't complain any more and your fingers feel like their going to fall off and your cheeks are bright as the apples you're handling you go inside and sit in the warm kitchen and are treated to a feast. It's not like Grandmee's food is the most fancy, every meal is basically the same, the staple is goulash and always random assortment of salads. But there is something about the Goulash that is just so familiar, that I wouldn't trade it for the world. Mmm It's making me sad typing this. Well not so much sad just... Reminiscent. Reminiscent of a time not so long ago that I was care free and not bound down to impressing others and holding my spot in academia. If only I could go back to that. My 19th birthday is this weekend. Along with the first choir concert. Hmm wonder what this next year has in store for me. I know that in one year almost exactly a very dear friend comes back from his mission. I haven't heard from him in a year, it's because he's Mormon:) It's times like these that I reminisce on last year right before he left, when he was back at home from college and we did crazy things; like go to Red Robin and debate theology right before closing, or go bowling and then he showed me this crazy road that he found when he got lost one time. ITS A SCARY DRIVE lol. right along the bluff and one lane. It was so cool, i could literally open the door of his car and hit someones mail box! I miss him.

I was just going to leave it off there but that just seemed weird... so I'm adding this last paragraph to say.... BYE! hahah One day i'll know how to end stories instead of always writing in stream of consciousness. §

Memoirs of a girl listening to a lecture on Meiosis

So you know how you have concert attire for choir? I've always wondered why all uniforms have to be the ugliest things on earth. Well this year is no different. Cantamus's dress's are.... fun... They would actually look great if i had found one to fit me! As it stands we have to have enough leway in the dress for our hands to be able to clap over our heads, and the one that fit me really well wouldn't allow me to do that cause there is NO stretch in the fabric of the zipper. WTH?! So I go get a bigger size, turns out this bigger size is now falling off my shoulders and looking like a sack on my skinny frame. In essence I look like I'm wearing a black potato sack.:( Grr... oh well it's not like I have any one here that I want to impress, but I do like to look acceptable and nice. It's gross. But now I'm hanging out at church listening to this dumb Meiosis lecture online, we have to listen to it for the attendance point but I already took notes on Meiosis off the lecture notes online, so I'm basically just kinda sorta listening while I write this blog. It's really nice here, I love this church. Jesyka came to visit this weekend!! It was so much fun! It was a really beautiful day yesterday so we ran around central campus to take pictures. They turned out really amazing, minus the whole Jesyka's camera falling into a puddle:( that was not so cool. Any who today was also an amazingly beautiful day and I am now carrying my camera every where I go just in case. I do need to find a tree to take season pictures of. I still have another month to get fall in so I've got some time. Hmm I think in bible study were just continuing reading Mark. I am totally enjoying the sun streaming in through this window next to me in the college kid study area of church, it's the best. GAH THIS MEIOSIS LECTURE IS LIKE 3 HOURS LONG!!!!! If you haven't noticed this is a very "stream of consciousness" type blog. Sorry if you're totally lost:) Not that any one reads this, but I think it's fun. Wish my Mom would get a blog... now that would be entertaining. Okay so I'm going to go find more random things to do while I'm "listening" to this Meiosis online lecture. Or maybe it will be time for dinner soon! yummm another reason why I love this church:D lol that and the whole, you know, Jesus thing :D Gotta love that guy! I mean he died for us!! lol Bestest dude ever.

Raining here yet again, It's kind of wet and dark and dreary. But in brighter news my bio class today was canceled, which means that I spent most of my day drooling over the actor Colin Morgan.... sorry had to wipe off the slime from my cheek. Hahah just kidding I'm not that helplessly infatuated with him. It's just I am a total die hard Merlin fan, total die accent fan, and a total die hard nerdy hot guy fan. Annnnd Colin Morgan happens to fall into all of those categories :D

Hmmm ramblings you ask for?? I need to clean my room before my friend gets here to hang with me and my roomie this weekend... AND i need to do my dishes.... and take the trash out..... oops.... hahah ALSO I need to go shopping for winter apparel.... cause turns out I didn't come prepared to college. At least in the sweater and other warm things. So when I go home next I'm hitting up my old haunts... as in the thrift shops and Goodwill =D They are the best! I mean where else can you find the kind of clothes that scream crazy old cat lady, and hooker all on the same rack?! Personally I tend to shy away from the skin tight plastic mini skirts and black boots, and tend to wear the giant baggy sweaters and long skirts. Hahah I probably look like a crazy cat lady half the time, but what evs! I am totally cool with that. Besides cats are amazing animals in ever sense of the word. Gah! Criminal Minds is on!! My other celebrity love interest you ask? Spencer Reid off Criminal Minds.... He is lacking in the accent department but he takes the cake for nerdy attractiveness. lol I'm not obsessed I swear;)

So tomorrow night I'm going clubbing for the first time... should be interesting. I have to admit I am apprehensive, but I can defend myself if anything does happen. It's going to be great, cause my friend whom I havn't seen in like forever is going with us, with my roomie and another good friend. Pretty exciting. I'll have to get back to you on if it's worth the trip or not:) hahah wow this blog is like totally pointless right now... maybe it's just me wanting to talk, I am good at that!! §

Itty Bitty Rain Storm

Hello, Welcome to my blog. I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Katherine Mackenzie. Most people call me Katie though. This is my blog! Though if you're paying attention to what you're doing you would have already figured that out wouldn't you? I dearly hope so. Let's see, it's raining here today, thunder and lightning included. T'was rattling my dorm window earlier. I love rain, it's one of my hobbies to go puddle stomping. Because truth be told I am a 4 year old at heart. With curly blond hair (currently died red) tied up in pigtails (as they are right now!) I'm not sure where this blog is going or what it's going to be about, probably God ('cause I'm presbyterian), odds and ends (because I like the random and the vintage), weather (and how it relates to my clothing and my mood), fashion (but not in the normal sense of the word), politics to some degree (but only because I'm an anthropologist), and art (because I do stuff like that). Oh and Coffee. Speaking of which, I had a Soy Cafe Mocha from the cafeteria this morning with my oat meal (with honey and cinnamon, yummmm) it was absolutely fantastic. Rain and coffee and some yummy warm cereal are so good. The verse of the day today is from Luke... some where... any ways it's the parable of the lamp under the basket. 'cause that song was stuck in my roommates head this morning and now it's stuck in mine ♪Hide it under a bushel, NO, I'm gunna let it shine ♪. Doesn't exactly go with the rainy day we're having but hey it's a good parable. I guess that's about it :D I wanna add a picture of the rain but my camera is dead... may-haps next time. §